whit i miss you terribly too. its been way too long.

im still trying to get used to the whole these people dont really know you when you expect they should
i try explaining my friends to people. its useless.

been thinking about the past wayyyy too much these days. its really bad. why now?

anyways ill be home in less than 12 hours so im pretty happy. lol
i think i may have packed a little too much. its only like 5 days. whatevskies.

god i need a boy. i need to get out of this funk. i need to wake up. i just dont feel alert anymore
i need a desire

wow.
just spent about an hour going through old posts from 2 years ago.
scary how some things change. half of them i didnt even know what i was talking about
and speaking of talking, sara is talking in her sleep again.
and i cant fall asleep. despite it being 3 in the am. whatevskies
so college. yeah. its kinda all bittersweet.
made some really cool friends.
still dont know if im really being "myself" or not.
going out every thurs. fri and sat night.
dont know who lve become. but i like to meet new people new. pretty funny.
decided that when i go home, im going to start up my wall again. i started it here.
i remember taking it down thinking i needed change, but that was bullshit. it did nothing but make me feel alone with the bare walls.
i just need to go home really bad. get in touch with my roots again. aka family and fab five.
they will ground me again. put my feet back on the ground. god i miss them.
not being able to walk into jens room at any minute when im bored.
just even driving i miss. lol .
oh well i'll be home soon enough.
i probably should get some sleep though. whatevs. dont have class till 6 anyway lol but i gotta do an essay and some extra credit for bio. wow that brings back memories from junior year hahahha. wow. dont miss high school at allll.

well goodnight

so, today is my first day of classes. not too bad. one at 10:50 ends at noon. the other sucks, 6:30 till 9. boo bio. haha but yeah im handling everything great. my roommate is great and im verrryy lucky cause my other trip friends werent as lucky. but yeah everythings changing. its weird that when you come to college, no one knows who you used to be. everyone calls me corinne. not rinny or rin or linny. except my roommate is trying to get ronnie to stick for me haha. everytime i meet someone, its like they remind me of someone else. its scary. so i have like two hours till class, but im wide awake and really bored. and sara is sleeping. lol. so last night i went to see star trek that was playing on the intramural field wich is adjacent to my building which is awesome cause i couldvve watched it from my window haha. but like every night we see the sunset from our room outlooking the field it awesome. did i also mention how guys like to play football half naked out there too. yummm lol but we did get a huge football game going yesterday. it looked like something from a movie i swear. they were setting up the projector for the movie so it was playing like movie music and the sun was setting an you see all of us tackling each other and laughing and hugging. it was awesome. and i love how people ask you to do everything with you. like if you need someone to go to the library, i just text someone from the trip and we walk together hah its great. im sooo glad i did the tri, it was amazinggg. oh and two days ago we went to the first real party. awesome. even though i had to drink beer, i was alright. but i met a lot of people some who i recognized the next day and were talking to. but the night ended up as me and sara climbed and hopped two fences, ran across a field into the back of the apartments, met a frat guy from TKE, brian, who was kind enough to show us the right way home haha. and he kinda yelled at us hahaha or warning us lol but anywayyss i gotta eat, sara's about to wake up, thanks to the very loud train that cuts through our part of campus lol and yeahh. class time!

so im totally moved into my dorm. its pretty awesome. and lonely at the same time. i think it'll get better when my roommate gets here sat. im sooo excited for my trip going down to west virginia to go white water rafting and mud obstacle courses and lake stuff haha and of course the sweet cabin. the people are really nice. but i could already see clic's forming. oh well. i already feel like a different person. i talk a lot more to people. even started to initiate conversation. woahhh. haha im just killing time now. i was stupid and left my phone home. wow. lol i got everything else but that. the only sucky part is i have to wake up at 6 am and its a 7 hour bus ride. im just afraid i wont get up in time. lol other than that its cool. but i really like the people here. sara kelly haley. mo renee. the boys are nice too. tim. mickey. bryce. james. dan. yupp. its soo hot. i dont know how ill sleep. ugh. i do miss my friends though. oohhh but we did this ice breaker where you have 30 second convo's its called in and out. i found out haley has a twin too. thats the first thing she said and i grabbed her and we jumped up and down. i got really excited haha her's is identical her name is kaleigh so it rhymes lol and she was in color gaurd. lol shes pretty cool. and shes going to ramapo haha i thought that was weird. ill have to tell liana and becca to see if she knows her. but yeah its getting late and i have to wake up mad early. hopefully i do get up haha.

yeah so its been 73 weeks till i wrote in this thing. which means well over a year. it was actuall ymost out of convience that i didnt write in this. caus emy internet in my room went down 3 years ago. and i wasnt about to go downstairs every night to write in it and its always freezing in that room anyways. so since i got my new laaptop, ive been trying to keep up. so fill in. going to college on monday. scary? exciting? i dont know haha. ill be in west virginia for a couple of days on an adventure trip kinda scared but really excited at the same time lol i get to move in early which is good. but i have less time. i dont know which is better. but im missing the tay swift concert and the blink 182 concert. boo. i would thought that i would have a lot to say but im drawing a blank

i miss steph. a lot.
im gunna miss a lot of people
its jsut the fact that i wont be able to call them and know they are 7 min away but instead like 3 hours. thank god for oovoo and stuff like that. oh whit if you read this, im back on aim! andddd thanks for the letter! i was like crying lol and laughing hysterically. thanks for that. =DD

oh jeeze i gotta pack a lot more when i get up cause i barely made a dent in anything and i lost my list soo yeah. maybe next time ill be more relxed.

Hey, hey
Hey, hey

Sometimes I feel like
Everybody's got a problem
Sometimes I feel like
Nobody wants to solve them
I know that people say
We're never gonna make it
But I know we're gonna get through this

Close your eyes
And please don't let me go
Don't, don't, don't let me go now
Close your eyes
Don't let me let you go
Don't, don't, don't

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We can find some place to go
'Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
Take my hand tonight
One last time

Hey, hey
Hey, hey

The city sleeps
And we're lost in the moment
Another kiss
As we're lying on the pavement
If they could see us
They would tell us that we're crazy
But I know they just don't understand

Close your eyes
And please don't let me go
Don't, don't, don't let me go now
Close your eyes
Don't let me let you go
Don't, don't, don't
[Take My Hand lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]


Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We can find some place to go
'Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
Take my hand tonight
One last time

Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey

The raindrops
The tears keep falling
I see your face
And it keeps me going
(Hey, hey)
If I get lost
Your light's gonna guide me
And I know that you can take me home
You can take me home

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We can find some place to go
'Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
Take my hand tonight
One last time

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We can find some place to go
(Find some place to go)
'Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
(Love will never die)
Take my hand tonight
One last time
(One last time)

i hate writing in this
cause everytime i read back in it,
ive changed so much
and im not that same person
and i usually want to delete it cause thats not how i feel anymore
but i kinda need something to grow from
so yeah

im prolly going to not want to read this tomorrow
hahhaa
ill regret it

oh well

so today was ok
this past week has been fast actually
but anyway today was my first day at work =D
its was ok, actually really really boring
cause all i did for 5 hours straight was watch training videos
and i still have to do some tom. as well
but it was cool and i like the people.

me and lili talked today haha
well more like yelled at, but not at each other
well it was, but we were defending the same thing
and it clicked. i know what your doing. hahaha


oh and i thought i was ready.
but then it changed
so now im back to where i was.
no one will get what i mean
sorry i have to write it so i know what i mean.


ok time for homework then sleep.
woot lol

this is your sign

take it


just please

yeah

thats about all i have to say
hahahha kidding but it feels like that sums up everything
the beginning of this week sucked hardcore but i think im good now
hspas were easy of course, especially the math
this week has been the chillest cause i got all my good classes and missed the worst ones
it was great, we would finish around 4th-5th which brings me to history which was only like 5 minutes left in the period
then i had the easiest day, lunch art gym math and band lol and we played games in math for extra credit and watched movies in gym

but yeah on another note
im take my days one by one
and seeing what happens
so far
everythings good
im in a good place.
except the shadow over my head that im ignoring.
hahaha it works for me

ok now for bio so i could go out this weekend hahaha

hmm well this week is going to be good i can tell
the boys won the halverson cup!
that was a huge achievement for all of them
and i couldnt be more proud of them
hahahaa and boy did they deserve it haha
also i think i got the job at quick check
so ill be able to see everyone and stuff
so yeah
but everyone seems to be happy around me
so that makes me happy

yeahhh its going to be a good week...

the boys won tonight!
woot!
so happy for them and it was an intresting game haha
they deff. put up a fight and it was worth it

but everything else is going well i guess
not much to say actually
just living day by day
band has become one of my favorite classes
all i do is sit there and joke around with jen and frank
its sooo much fun haha and it goes by too quickly lol
im also excited for my art drawing, i think itll look cool
that class is also fun, but annoying sometimes.
oh and cant forget about gym.
well basically my afternoon classes are awesome hahaha

but besides all that, i really wish we didnt have school tomorrow
at least a delayed opening
cause then i wouldnt have to do my english essay
or bio drawings.
that would suck
but yeah im going to go to bed now
see what happens in the morning

i dont even know anymore
and talking about it doesnt help
just makes it worse
i need a distraction, a big one


oh and its fun watching people change right before your eyes

so valentines day was good =D
best one in a long time
hahaha
in almost every class, the teacher couldnt quiet the class cause everyone is so chatty
my daddy came home with choclates and flowers and a pair of cute earrings =D
but i dont think anyone topped steph hahaha
she wrote out i think 15 or 16 diffferent valentine card each with a different joke in it and she gave them to me randomly throughout the day hahah it made me smile hahaha
oh and chuck stopped by
havent seen him in awhile
oh and the boys won today
i wanted to go, but once agai, have no ride. but steph came over
we wtached dirty dancing and then danced in my room
it was all good and fun
then i went out to eat with mom dad jen and moo
at the outback cause terri was working.
and now im here, doing history homework haha
so yeah thats about my day

how was yours?

yeah im not going to write anything

cause i dont want to jnyx anything

hahaha

yeah, i take back what i said
i dont know why even try
i just let my down further.
so yeah, im going to bed.

these past couple of days have been great. adn these past two night ive had incredible dreams, of which i cant forget and keep replaying in my head over and over. ill prolly end up going to the hockey game. lol i love watching it. and even if they dont win, its still fun to go and support them hahaha. and plus, you have to be there for the bad to appreciate the good. so yeah. im going to walk aimlessly around my house or start my homework to pass the time. haha.

sorry for everyone that has been putting up with me for the past couple of weeks
i know i dont make it easy

just thanks

i dont know how much more of this i can handle. its like a roller coaster. im so close to giving up, but then i would be giving in. hmmm i just need to clear my head.

hmmmm where to start? see this is the problem, i have all this stuff to say, but when i go to say it, i cant even writing it in here. and i dont know why.so where to begin? ill just review my day and maybe itll strike something. well friday was good. had pahts party. it was good. wierd, but good i guess. then i went to stephs afterwards and had a sleepover. that was fun. we talked alott. haha and took pictures. then fell asleep and went into the hot tub. that was fun. especially cause it was cold outside and we were warm. hahha yeah. today i just sat around. made a football cake for superbowl tomorrow. looks pretty cool. maybe ill put pictures up tomorrow. oh and while i was gone my tv fell out of my wall. but dad fixed it. but i still dont trust standing underneath it hahah im kinda happy, kinda not. but i have to wait till someone gets home so i can tell them. hahahah oh i watched sweeny todd today. derek brought it home. he gets it from school from a server thingy. it was a great movie. and i recommend it. but yeah i guess ill just clean my room or something to distract me. grrr